Heather was two days late starting her monthly cycle so, using extensive and soundly founded logic, with absolutely no emotion (cough cough), she concluded she must be pregnant. The possibility of being the father to the 0.01% miracle was exciting for a couple of minutes, but I knew it wasn’t possible. I tried to explain to Heather that there was no use in getting our hopes up after only 2 days of her period not starting, but alas, it was too late. She had already started explaining that she couldn’t get out of bed because her morning sickness was too bad today (see picture above). After the “morning sickness” had passed, I found my wife with my basketball under her shirt modeling in the mirror. She wanted to make sure I would still love her with her new figure. The “Yes dear” answered worked like a charm as I prepped my things for the day and headed to the car. There waiting for me was my wife in the passenger seat, but she had oddly wrapped her scarf around her belly. “That’s cute babe,” I commented. I’m not doing it to be cute,” she defended, “I don’t want the baby to get cold.” I was excited to see her motherly instincts naturally kick in, but her early exuberance was quite worrisome. After returning from out duties, it all came crashing down as I heard singing in the kitchen. Heather sings quite frequently, so this was quite normal. What wasn’t normal was that she was singing Jesus Wants Me for a Sunbeam, and was singing to her belly. I put it end to though when she demanded I sing to it too.